Behind that facade

"Levon, why are you always so happy?"

This question still lingers in my mind every now and then. It was one of my ex-colleagues had who asked me a couple of months ago.

Actually i do have quite a number of issues. It's just that I am not good at expressing dejection and i prefer to 'escape' from problems i cannot solve at the moment rather than allow them to ruin a day i can seize to have fun.

One of the questions i am afraid to respond is,"Are you Okay?"

It's a simple yet difficult question. To put it simply, it's just a yes or no.. But the explanation that follows is always a problem. How do you share your problems without affecting your ego or changing perceptions of yourself in somebody else's mind? Like i had mentioned, I have a unique personality from most i know and definitely a very different perspective of the world. Most people won't for sure. I am done with fitting in, but acceptance is still an essential element to me.

I am not an emo faggot don't get me wrong. If being happy makes others happy, why not? It's a win-win situation. :)

8 minutes to 2013

8 minutes to 2013, the start of something new. I watched these fireworks every year and it feels just the same every year. The first 8 minutes of a new year, who are you with? What were you thinking? What do you hope for and what do you want after it has ended?

8 minutes. I feel emptiness crept into me. I stared into the fireworks for that 8 minutes, wishing for something more exciting after each firework had blasted. Perhaps i was secretly hoping life could be better because 2012 was not as memorable as i had hoped.

December had come to an end and that 8 minutes of fireworks sparks a new lifeyear.

2013 please be good.