Reality Check

Yesterday my dad took an article to me and urged me to read it. It was about this guy who dropped the chance to study humanities on scholarship to study medicine instead. It went on to tell how he eventually open his hospital and became a millionaire and so on. His children are studying medicine now too. It was supposed to be some form of motivation, yet instead i got so depressed that i broke down.

I am not sure why. I gave a thought and finally decided that it was my rampaging hormones which are behind this emotional roller-coaster ride. But no, not exactly.

Today, my family had some conflict. It's the same issue over and over again. Money. Money; the evil root of all cause. I am not sure if any of you, who is reading this right now, still see the digits in your bank account eventually dwindle to zero. I still do. I fear that all the time. I choose my studies on top of everything else. I earn only what is enough to get me through each month. I may have all the time and freedom compared to my peers but i definitely do not have the freedom to throw my money anywhere i want.

No, i was unexpectedly not one of the person in that conflict. But that incident had made me understood why i broke down. Money. Yes. I was envious. That guy was sending his two children to study medicine. His children are enjoying the life i yearn for but i could not have. His children have parents who can give them almost everything. Their parents are capable of sending them overseas to study.

So yesterday i feared that i will be screwed if i cannot get into the locals, because that will mean 'That's the end of my life.'. The reason i am living because i have a dream and goals in my life.

But what i am genuinely jealous for right now is that they probably didn't have to spend time quarrelling over money. Then again, i am not the only one right. Oh well. I hope the person who had invented money is dead. That person deserve to die anyway causing so many pain in human.

I hope the ones who said I'm too materialistic is reading this. If you had never been through what i have you will never know how it feels to be like me. It takes a poor to know what it is like to be rich, to have money and give what you could not have.